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I woke up this morning with quite a bit of difficulty. I flat out just didn’t want to get out of bed yet. So yep I admit I was a little ornery and groggy and desperately in need of coffee.
As I go through this cancer journey I have found most mornings I am slow moving but today was even more so. I knew I had to get up so I could follow my regiment of meds. My day starts off with a med I have to take before food so first things first that goes down the hatch. Then I made the aforementioned rather large coffee. Sitting there I find myself just staring out my French doors into my backyard. I tell myself to get with it because I don’t have time to dawdle. I need to do something with my very messy hair before I have to leave the house and go to my radiation treatment. The pep talk doesn’t work and I continue to sit there drinking my coffee and continuing taking various pills. I finally finish all my “normal” meds and breakfast so now I am on to taking my chemo medication. It is then that it dawns on me “bad hair days aren’t so bad”. In fact they are a blessing because even though it has thinned quite a lot I still have hair.
I then begin to think how often do we grouse about things that are truly insignificant? How often do we allow our impressions of our hair, skin, weight, or other physical attributes to determine how we feel about ourselves? How often do we let small circumstances set the tone for our day? Sadly, I fear, all too often. I remember back to many days where computer issues use to seemingly derail my day, or anyone of another thousand little glitches that I allowed to impact my day negatively. I look back and see how much stress I allowed these insignificant things to add to my life. Let me tell you from experience it's not worth it. So today I chose to love my bad hair and rejoice in the things I had to do today. How ironic was it that while I was getting my radiation treatment the machine went kerplunk? Yep there I was laying in this odd position, on a hard table with the giant machine all around me and this voice comes over the speaker and says "we're going to need a minute we are going to try and reboot." I just started laughing. The staff was so apologetic and practically falling all over themselves when I said 'hey it's ok, life is never dull and I would have it now other way!'
If you are finding yourself in one of these moments or have in the past stop and take a breath and be thankful you are able to breathe and move and have your being. Toss these things aside and find the pleasure in the moment. None of these things really matter. I for one at enjoying my bad hair day!