Being A Light
As many of you now know, I am facing a battle with cancer. I have had lots of people ask me how I am doing with this news. Truth be told I have had my moments but overall I have had an abundance of peace. I want to take the chance to say thank you to everyone who is praying for me, sending me encouragement, reaching out to help and those who have donated to my GoFundMe page. It has certainly been a whirlwind and I can definitely say my life has been completely upended. I went from working in the business marketplace and trying to be a light for Jesus in the day to day of a very busy job to being on disability while I fight this cancer. I was active in my church and loved spending time with all the wonderful people in my church family to not being able to attend services and having to limit my in person times with others. My life went from To Do lists to doctor's appointments in the blink of any eye. I have not only had to process my own emotional reaction to the news but also share with those who love me and watch as they struggle with processing it too. Recently I had a friend who opened her heart and told me she was just so angry that I was going through this. I did not know how to respond at first. I am not thrilled to be going through this either so I was kind of at a loss on how to help her. I took some time and prayed and really felt that God has shown me a couple things that help when I too am struggling with emotional responses to my circumstances.
First, I know that God is always with me and that He is always good. He loves me and if I didn't get that before I sure am getting it now as He has moved on hearts of people to pour out into my life in ways I could never have foreseen. I am definitely feeling the love. Secondly, how can people who are being swarmed in the darkness of cancer see the light unless a light bearer goes into the darkness to show them. My prayer is that God will heal me but also that no matter how far down this road I have to go I will be able to stay in His presence and be that light bearer. I certainly would not have picked this mission field but it is one that desperately needs His love and truth to touch people's hearts. I pray that no matter what He is glorified and that others I encounter see His great love for them.
Today is a special day for me, forty years ago I met Jesus for the first time. I accepted His gift of salvation and began the most amazing love relationship. It astonishes me when I think it has been forty years. If my life results in just one person being drawn to the love of Jesus than I will say it is a life well lived. I plan on forty more years walking with the Lord but whatever that time consists of let me be found sharing the amazing joy, love and peace that He wants all of us to know. May I always be a beacon of His light.